L'attaque des fourmis
Bugs have never really bothered me. Be it camel crickets annually invading our bathtub back home, fist-sized moths slamming into our Coleman lantern during late-night card games at Boy Scout camp, or a near-plague of mosquitos in an Alaskan summer — I’ve always managed to keep my cool and handle the situation without getting too unnerved. But these days things are starting to change!
For the past couple months we’ve had ants in our Parisian apartment. They’re tiny and originally were content to live in the kitchen. Let a baguette sit out too long and you can’t really complain when some ants find it. But these ants are not just any ants - they don’t seem to care too much about food. So if they’re not seeking nourishmen, maybe they’re here for the warmth. So as long as they hang out near the water heater, no problem. We’ll place some ant traps there and that’ll get rid of them. No luck - they quickly discovered the coziness to be found underneath a laptop!
Up until now, I’ve been quite a humanitarian (or whatever the equivalent is when dealing with ants) and merely swept them onto the floor. Now it’s time for them all to die!
Why the change in policy? They’ve finally conquered the bathroom! It’s not cool to have ants in the bristles of your toothbrush; trust me!
NOTE: During the typing of this entry, I have helped at least half a dozen ants “shuffle off this mortal coil.”
UPDATE: Do you think I’m over-reacting to ants being on my toothbrush? Well, I’ll have you know that according to MIT, as an American, I can’t live without my toothbrush!